All Dangerous Activities Now Banned

All Dangerous Activities Now Banned

In an attempt to "save even one life," lawyers for the National Association of Do-Gooders with No Understanding of Economics (NADNUE) have announced the government’s new ban on anything that could be considered dangerous.

”People who risk lives, even their own, by engaging in dangerous activities will no longer be allowed to show such callousness,” said spokesperson Amy Nintendo. “We have compiled a list of such activities for easy reference.”

• Driving: only emergency vehicles in active use can now be on the road since they would save lives. We know that driving kills over 40,000 people every year and, since prohibiting driving would save those 40,000, it is obviously necessary to get rid of this frightful practice.
• Walking: We heard a report the other day that a man in South Padre Island, Texas, collapsed of a heart attack while walking along the beach. This cannot be allowed to continue. Don’t you realize that others could suffer the same terrible fate? Walking must go!
• Flying: After 9-11 do we even need to address this? No more hazardous things in the air.
• Breathing: I saw a report on the History Channel the other day that said that many soldiers in World War I died from breathing in chemical weapons. How can we cold-bloodedly allow such risks to remain around our children? Ban breath now! (Except in Iraq where we know no such weapons have ever been used.)
• Did you know our favorite poem is Porphyria’s Lover?
• Clothing: Many people tragically die each year while wearing clothing. This rate of coincidence is just to great to ignore. Obviously, since so many people die while wearing clothing, we must outlaw this death-bringing practice.
• Newspapers: A newspaper once caught on fire and burned down the reader’s house, killer her and her family. Gone.
• Finally, don't forget to Ban DHMO

NADNUE hopes to achieve its goal of a zero death society within four years. Please write to your congressperson and ask him or her to support the NADNUE initiatives! Thank you.

Thomas Sowell: Risky business

There is, for example, the pious statement that 'if it saves just one life, it is worth whatever it costs.' People say things like that when they want to puff themselves up as caring or when they want to win votes from those who don't bother to think through what they are saying.

In real life, nobody acts on that principle. People don't give up boating, skiing, or rock climbing, even though they know that many people lose their lives in these recreational activities every year.